


the more things change;

by okayhotshot



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14590044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayhotshot/pseuds/okayhotshot
Summary: Jake Peralta isn’t big on change. He’s had the same car, same mattress, same attitude for longer than he can remember. But when his feelings for Amy Santiago come into play, Jake will either have to learn to deal with change or run from it.A sequence of snapshots into Jake’s mind as his feelings for Amy change over time.





	the more things change;

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey, guys! This is my first b99 fic! I’m super nervous about posting this, please be gentle! Follow me on tumblr at okayhotshots if you want! Thanks, bye!!

_**i**_. **_the “date” turned stakeout_**

He’s probably the furthest thing from romantic that a person can get. It’s not that he lacks the ability or the desire to be romantic, he’s just never had a reason. He prefers the light and breezy path of life he’s chosen to take. No broken hearts. No pining. No romance. He doesn’t need any of that. It would only distract him from work, and honestly, work is what matters most to him.

But, as he learned very quickly when he became a cop, things can change in the blink of an eye. And he had no idea when he took Amy Santiago out for their disaster date, that things would change.

Maybe it wouldn’t have if they hadn’t been sent to the stakeout location. He would have spent the night embarrassing her and rubbing his victory in her face. She would have been beyond annoyed and probably never would have spoken to him again. He’s glad things worked out this way.

He doesn’t realize what’s happening at first. The flirting and the teasing? It seemed so normal. They had never been quite this alone before, and Jake was seeing sides of Amy he’d never seen before, and somehow, seeing her in a new light all together.

But something changes. He doesn’t know the exact moment. It’s fleeting, but every so often, he’ll get a fluttering in his chest and swooping in his stomach when Amy does something he would normally consider annoying, and a warmth spreads through him when she smiles and when she laughs. It’s even worse when he’s the one to make her do either of those things. But it’s those changes that make it impossible for him to tell Holt to send the night team. He plays it off with Amy the next day, but it’s honestly the best date he’s ever had, spun from a bet or not.

When he finally gets home from the stakeout, he collapses on his bed, fully prepared to pass out to the sounds of Netflix in the background, but he can’t stop thinking about her. He closes his eyes but all he can see his Amy laughing on that rooftop as she attempted to catch a nut with nothing but her mouth.

It’s never been like this for him. It’s all sex jokes and one-night stands. He doesn’t catch feelings for people. He saw what it did to his mom when his dad left, and he never wanted to feel the way she felt. But _god damn_ it. Amy has taken over every single one of his thoughts, and there’s nothing he can do to shake it.

The scariest part is, he’s not sure he wants to.

**_ii. the missed opportunity_ **

He spends too long being afraid.

He keeps trying to tell himself that he’s somehow misunderstood his friendship with Amy for something more. Stranger things have happened. There was that week in middle school when he thought he might be into Gina. Thankfully, that week was so weird for both of them, neither one of them ever bring it up.

But he knows this is different. No one has ever consumed him like Amy. No one else has ever worked their way into every single thought he has, settled into his heart the way she has. But he’s scared. Jake Peralta, the guy who rushes into crime scenes without a second thought, is scared of letting himself feel something for someone.

It’s not just that he’s afraid he might get hurt. (Even though that’s a large part of it). He’s also worried about what it could do to their friendship, to the great dynamic they have going on at work. He likes having Amy in his life. Especially since they’ve grown closer since the stakeout. They even hang out when they aren’t at work. He doesn’t want to lose her entirely. So he keeps his mouth shut and his feelings secret.

That’s when Teddy comes along. It comes completely out of left field. Amy doesn’t usually date, and if she does, she’s very secretive about it. And by the time he realizes Teddy is making a move, and even worse, that Amy’s into it, it’s too late.

He beats himself up for it. Jake doesn’t miss windows of opportunity, especially not because he’s scared of the consequences that might unfold if he climbs through. That’s why when Amy and Teddy join them at the bar one night, he buys everyone a round before taking his beer and disappearing into a corner alone.

He could talk to someone about it, but what would be the point? Amy is dating someone else. She’s probably happy, and he’s just going to have to live with it. Besides, Charles and Gina can’t keep secrets and Rosa doesn’t do feelings. And the one person he would really be comfortable talking it out with is Amy but that’s off the table for more reasons than one.

Terry is the one that gets him out of his slump. They drink more than they should that night, and as Terry practically drags him back to his apartment, Jake finds himself spilling more than he ever planned on spilling.

_“Terry, she’s just so great,” he says, vision blurry and words slurring more and more by the second. “I know I give her hell, but she’s great.”_

He isn’t sure what Terry says in response. But he’s sure it has to do with the fact that he keeps repeating himself. He wonders, for a moment, if he should just _call her_. Only to be thankful the next morning that Terry took his phone.

He doesn’t remember getting home. He wakes up on his couch, a sloppy note from Terry on his coffee table. Something about Amy, and the location of his phone.

His head is pounding as he pushes himself into a sitting position, and he runs his fingers through his hair. He knows he drank too much. And it didn’t even work. He was drinking in hopes that it would make him forget Amy for awhile, but all it did was make his head hurt. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to gain some composure before he gets up. But emories from last night start flooding in.

He remembers standing outside the bar, arm and arm with Terry singing a song he thinks might be from RENT. He remembers drunkenly walking into a Taco Bell and getting a 12-pack of tacos. And finally he remembers Terry dragging him into the elevator and into his apartment. And he kind of wishes he could forget what he remembers next.

_Terry had just finished lowering him onto the couch, when Jake looked up at him, pointing a finger in his direction. “Terry, can I tell you something I haven’t told anyone?”_

_He thinks that the sarge might have been closer to sober than he was at that point, because he nodded. “Sure, Peralta. Lay it on me.”_

_“I love her,” Jake said, unable to keep his eyes open any longer. “I’m in love with Amy Santiago.”_

He feels like his heart has dropped into his stomach, and the warm feeling he gets when he’s with Amy is far from him now. Instead, a rush of cold, icy, fear washes over him.

He just had too much to drink, right? Sure, he _likes_ Amy, but he’s not _in love_ with her. He decides that it’s the alcohol he has to blame, pushing the memory to the back of his mind, content to forget that it ever happened. As far as the sarge knows, he doesn’t even remember it.

**_iii. romantic-stylez_ **

Jake is a master at playing pretend. Or maybe he’s just so busy with work, he doesn’t have time to think about Amy and Teddy, and the fact that he told Terry that he’s in love with her.

Either way, things get a little easier. He’s able to focus around Amy again. They work well together, they tease, and bicker, and sometimes they still hang out. But it’s harder now. Amy likes to talk about Teddy, and he has no valid reason to ask her to stop. If he did, it would only make things harder for her. It would ruin everything, so he grins and bears it.

He’s learned to stop being shocked when things change. That’s just how the world works, and he has, to a point, come to accept that. But he tries not to let it throw him too far off track. He hyper-focuses on work, doing his best to move on.

It would be his luck, that he stumbles on a case being investigated by the FBI. If this had been a couple months ago, Jake would have been through the roof. He would have gone undercover without a second thought, ready to be the cop he always wanted to be. But things have changed, they always do.

He still agrees to do the op. He’d be an idiot not to. But that means danger, that means possible death, and no contact with the Nine-Nine for the operations entire length.

He wrestles with his brain for hours. At first, he thinks he’s just being dramatic. Nothing is going to happen to him, he doesn’t have to say anything to Amy about the way he feels. But he’s quick to remember that things don’t always go as planned, and he’s stumbling out of the precinct to catch Amy before he can stop himself.

Amy looks shocked and mostly confused as he tells her how he feels. He doesn’t say he loves her. He’s still not sure he really does. But he does tell he wishes they could be together. Not quite as eloquently, but it gets the point across. He runs away before he can get a response.

He spends the next six months wondering what effect his words would have on her. He wonders if she’s still with Teddy, if she feels the same way. And he _misses_ her. More than he would care to admit.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Amy stays with Teddy, and Jake feels like a fool for thinking Amy could ever feel that way about him.

**_iv. the distraction_ **

Either Terry doesn’t remember Jake confessing his love for Amy, or he thinks it’s a lost cause. He’s the one that actually convinces him to try and move on, and Jake, stupidly, takes the advice.

Sophia is great. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and they have a lot in common. He genuinely enjoys spending time with her, despite the fact their jobs conflict _a lot._ He likes her, and he wants them to work.

Jake quickly learns that just because you want something to work doesn’t mean it will. He’s been playing pretend so long, he’s starting to believe it’s real. So when he pretends that he’s over Amy, he’s convinced himself that he is. Even though he’d rather hang out with Amy than go on a date with Sophia. He never admits that out loud, of course, it’s rare he even thinks it.

Part of him knows it’s not fair to string Sophia along. And he knows he’s being selfish keeping her around as a distraction, but he can’t let go. Maybe it’s because he wants to believe he can get over Amy. Or maybe it’s because he thinks that this is _how_ to get over Amy. Either way, he’s almost desperate to get her to stay.

Things are weird after the dinner with Amy and Teddy. Sophia tries to let him down gently, but he won’t have it. Playing pretend has made him believe he might be in love with Sophia and he won’t miss another window of opportunity. So, as usual, Jake embarrasses himself.

It doesn’t hit him just what a negative effect this whole thing has had on Sophia until she’s standing in front of him with tears in her eyes, recalling that awkward dinner and the look on his face when he found out Amy used to have feelings for him.

_“I saw the way you looked at her.”_

_He tried to so hard to play it off. But he knew he failed when a few of her tears actually slipped down her cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_Sophia let out a laugh, but there was no humor in it. “Jake, you looked at her the way you’re supposed to look at me.”_

And it’s then, perhaps for the first time, he realizes just how deep in this he is.

**_v. six months in_ **

He can’t thank Rosa enough for setting this up for them. Jake has never been the romantic type. He always wanted to be, but he never had a reason. But with Rosa’s help, and a little bit of prompting, it all comes together pretty easily, and the look on Amy’s face makes it all worth it.

They spend the night searching through bookshelves, and he listens to Amy tell him about her favorite stories. And the warmth in his chest has only grown into a fire that consumes him every time he’s in Amy’s presence and he’s okay with that.

She fallS asleep in the early hours of the morning, their backs pressed against a shelf, her head resting on his shoulder, a light snore escaping her lips.

He watches for a few minutes as she sleeps, unable to deny any longer that he’s head-over-heels in love with her. He remembers months ago when Amy was still with Teddy, how she mentioned how how bad break-ups were and how she hoped she never had to go through one again. At the time, he had used it to gauge how well their relationship was going, but now he understands.

In that moment, he doesn’t know if she’s the one, but he knows he’d be devastated if this didn’t work out, or end on a positive note. Amy is sunlight and happiness, and makes him feel things he never thought he would feel. He doesn’t want to break up, and he’s going to do everything he can to make sure they don’t.

**_vi. april twenty-eighth_ **

He’s learned not to be shocked when things change, in fact, Amy’s kind of taught him to embrace it. New mattress, new apartments, new places, new stories. That’s why when everything changes one random day in April, he isn’t afraid.

Jake is scrolling through his phone, trying to find something on his timeline other than Gina’s endless tweets. His phone vibrates signaling another test from Rosa, but he’s quickly distracted.

Amy gasps from her spot in the bed beside of him, and he looks over with a raised eyebrow. She’s doing a crossword, what could be so shocking? When she notices that he’s looking, she shifts the paper a little so Jake can get a better look.

“There’s a typo in the crossword!”

His expression softens as she goes back to concentrating, and his heart has dropped to his stomach in the best way. A slight smile pulls on the edge of his lips, and he feels at peace. And it dawns on him, he never wants this end. Relaxing after work, Amy nerding out over her crossword puzzles, just being with her. He wants to do this for the rest of his life. And not with anyone but Amy Santiago.

The random day in April quickly becomes something more. It becomes the day he stops running. It becomes the day he stops being afraid. It becomes the day that he makes the best decision he’s ever made. It becomes the day he decides he wants to marry the love of his life.

 

 


End file.
